Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Another Patrick's Day vignette: don't open the box unless you want to know what's inside, jackass

Patrick's morning, and we're playing on the local Fox sports radio channel, and the host says "Boy, I'm so glad I got me a new TV here in the studio, so I can get my morning fix of Fox & Friends. I sure hated having to watch that Commonist News Network," while over his shoulder (fortunately silenced) are the airbrushed, bleached-blond, Botoxed, soulless Fox morning airheads, on the street in Belfast, for Christ's sakes, trying to get somebody to talk to them about St Patrick's Day. I said to old buddy Coop, who with John-Boy and me had gotten up at six fucking AM to go play on these peoples' network, "I sure hope they have that thing on the LONG five-second delay," and the Fox host looked at me incomprehending.

Fortunately, we went into a live break right then, and Ye Host got distracted from the conversation while we played the tunes. But if there'd been time enough and airspace, I would have said "look, you assholes, I know that you live in some alternate-reality universe where the dap that Obama and the First Lady exchanged was a 'terrorist fist-jab' and the crashing economy worldwide is Obama's fault and Junior was a 'lion walking among hyenas,' but if you are insane enough to step outside your tight little paranoid bubble where all the 'good people' get rewarded and only 'bad people' lose their jobs, and actually ask somebody on the street in Belfast--on the Falls or the Shankill, Catholic or Protestant side--what they think of Dubya and of your fucking propaganda network then you better be ready with that LONG five-second delay because they will goddamned tell you--at great length and with considerable detailed accuracy and eloquence--just how, and why, and how much they hate and despise you and every fucking lying bullshit 'Amurrkin val-yew' you and your failure of a 43rd President claim to stand for."

But I didn't; we just played, and left. And as we walked out the door (7:45am and the sun just about to come up), I said, "Hey Coop: what kind of welcome do you think Fox News got in Belfast?" and Coop (born on the Shankill Road) said "Why would you even open up that topic if you weren't prepared to have people come back at you? Don't they know what the Irish think of Bush/Cheney?"

And we shook our heads and put it behind us.

Now playing: Martin Simpson - Batchelors Hall
via FoxyTunes

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