Thursday, January 29, 2009

Placeholder: "you know you're from Western Mass if..."

I'm not from there, but I been:

You know you're from Western Mass IF...

1. You don't speak with a Boston accent, but you can spot a fake one a mile away. Yep

2. You get upset when Worcester is referenced as being "west".

3. You have never been to the new Basketball Hall of Fame, other than to go to the restaurants.
Yep

4. You took at least one elementary school field trip to the Sturbridge Village, the Quadrangle or Symphony Hall. Yep

5. You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter & road construction. Yep (where I'm from "Nor'easter, shoveling, black ice & potholes").

6. You have used the heater and air conditioner in your car on the same day. Yep

7. You used to drive to packies in New Hampshire on Sundays before they were allowed to open in MA
. Yep

8. You know what a "packie" is.
Yep

9. You think everyone from Connecticut (and Longmeadow ) is a snob and everyone from Vermont is a hippie. Yep (mostly the Marbleheaders were snobs too)

10. You have enrolled in at least one class at Holyoke Community College.

11. You know at least three people that work for Baystate Health System
. Yep

12. You always call it Western Mass. (or WMass in writing), never Western Massachusetts
. Yep

13. You don't really consider the Berkshires to be part of WMass. Yep (full of snobs there, too)

14. You had Staties bust your high school keg party in Russell, Blandford, Granville or Otis. Yep (busted, yes; but we were in "Swamp-skit")

15. You know what a Statie is. Yep

16. You still call the local Fox affiliate, "Channel 61". (What's a "Fox affiliate"?)

17. You have never been to a Starbucks but you know the location of the nearest Dunkin Donuts no matter what city/town you're in. Nope (but I'd always prefer Dunkin's to SB)

18. You went to Bright Nights when it first started but haven't been back since.

19. You don't pronounce the "h" in Amherst
. Yep

20. You know when somebody says UMass, they mean the one in Amherst and not Lowell , Dartmouth or Boston. Yep (even though "yew-Mass Bahstin" is my alma mater)

21.You have tried nine different "shortcuts" to avoid the Coolidge Bridge traffic on Route 9.

22.You still call Six Flags, Riverside. (What's a "Six Flags"?)

23.You still call the Mass Mutual Center the Civic Center

24.You drive 80 MPH on I-91 at all times; rain, shine, sleet or snow
. Yep (well, too).

25.You consider anything that is more than 15 minutes and/or two towns away to be "far"
. Hell no--can you say "Texas"?!?

26.You have been to Connecticut's state capital, Hartford, more than your own.

27.You say to yourself "It's not that bad out" while driving through a Nor'easter
. Yep (well, it isn't!)

28.You wish Mountain Park & Mt. Tom were still open

29.You have never been on a PVTA bus but when you're in Boston, you ride the T because "it's fun". Nope. Always ride the T, but how I know I'm from Bahstin is that I know it's never "fun"

30.You know where the largest St. Patrick's Day parade in New England (and second largest in the country) takes place.

31.You have a love/hate relationship with downtown Springfield. Nope. Just hate.

32.You leave at 7:00 AM on a Sunday to come back from vacationing on the Cape to beat the traffic at Exit 9 on the Mass Pike
. Yep

33.You will drive to the Yankee Candle flagship store in South Deerfield even though it's 45 minutes out of your way and there are three other Yankee Candle stores that are closer to your house. Nope (What's a "Yankee Candle flagship store'?)

34.You call Riverdale St., Riverdale Rd
. Nope (but every one of my in-laws did and does).

35.You "know someone" who will let you park for free on their property during the Big E. Hell yeah.

36.You let your car idle for 20 minutes on a cold winter morning to defrost the windows instead of taking 20 seconds to scrape them
. Yep (only because it doesn't take "20 seconds," but more like "20 minutes")

37.You have bar-hopped at golf course clubhouses

38.You felt a sense of pride when Snoop Dogg wore a Springfield Indians jersey in the Gin & Juice video.

39.You have attended a function at Chez Josef
. Yep

40.You know that Chicopee is full of Polish, Ludlow is full of Portuguese, Holyoke is full of Irish and Bondi's Island is full of shit.

1 comment:

Shan said...

Thanks. I am so lucky to have teachers like you and Dharmonia.